Week 11 Picks:  The Musical

One Out of Three Ain’t Bad…or something like that. So said Marvin Lee Aday, Meatloaf to most of us. The abacus had quite Aday on Sunday, going one for three against the spread.

To be fair, nobody could have predicted what happened in the Bills-Vikings game. As Patsy Cline would say, that game was, “pretty weird”. So are this week’s picks. You’ve been warned.

Week 11 NFL game picks

Jets @ Patriots (-3.5)

Bob Dylan said it best when he sang, “Ewh gurgble oooh uf gooo.” I actually have no idea what that means, and I can’t understand why the Patriots keep giving points to teams with better records this year. 

New England sits at the bottom of the AFC East. The Jets are tied with the Bills for second place behind the Dolphins. The Patriots are a .500 team at home this year, the Jets are undefeated on the road. In the words of the late Marvin Gaye, “I need sexual healing…I mean…What’s Going On?” 

Things were so much easier when New England owned the division, but The Times They are a Changin’. New York better hope so, they’ve lost their last five matchups to the Pats. New England has won four of their last five games but so have the Jets. 

New England beat New York in late October and even covered the spread. Maybe I’m in an Empire State of Mind, but I say they can’t do it twice.

Fantasy Abacus says: Start spreading the news, I’m taking the Jets.

Eagles @ Colts (+7.5)

In the words of Sir Elton John, “Saturday! Saturday! Saturday! Saturday! Saturday! Saturday! Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!” How about new Colts coach Jeff Saturday? The man stepped out of ESPN studios, beat the Raiders, and made it look easy. Somebody get Stephen A. Smith a whistle and a clipboard. 

Not only did Saturday get the team’s first win since mid-October, he did it while giving Matt Ryan a piggyback. Technically, he did it with a resurgent Jonathan Taylor. Taylor averaged 6.7 yards per carry on his way to 147 yards and much-needed fantasy relevance. This week he gets an Eagles team that just let Washington run the ball for 152 yards and two rushing scores.

If these guys were Eagles fans, they’d say, “Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye” to Philadelphia’s undefeated season. Philly fans were rightfully steamed after a game in which the Eagles only called two running plays in the first half and held the ball for less than 20 minutes.

It may be sunny in Philadelphia, but as K.C. and the Sunshine band would say, Philly better not “Na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na-na-na now. Baby, give it up” like they did last week with four turnovers. They won’t, but they won’t cover the spread either.

Fantasy Abacus says: Colts cover for Saturday on Sunday.

Chiefs @ Chargers (+6.5)

Andy Reid probably Feels Good about bringing in disgruntled Giants receiver Kadarius Tony Toni Toney onto the team. JuJu Smith Schuster left Sunday’s game with a head injury allowing Toney to get 90 scrimmage yards and the first touchdown of his career.

The Chiefs beat the Chargers by three points in September, but lately, Kansas City has been Groovin’ on Sunday afternoons. Those rascals have won three straight.

Keenan Allen and Mike Williams should be returning to practice this week and Allen should be returning league dues to anyone that drafted him. The Chargers are now the Austin Ekeler show. His seven receptions were a team-high in their loss to the 49ers. 

Despite the loss, Chargers coach Brandon Staley believes his defensive game plan was the best he’s ever called. Hey coach, that and a nickel will get you absolutely nothing in San Diego. Seriously, the cost of living there is crazy. 

Staley needs to get the offense going before the Chargers take an Electric Slide down the standings. He doesn’t need to get Fancy Like Andy Reid necessarily, but if he can’t figure something out, he’ll be serving Bourbon Street steaks and Oreo shakes at Applebee’s next year.

Fantasy Abacus says: Chargers keep it close until Allen gets hurt.

Enjoy Week 11 everyone. @fantasybruce just heard the fat lady singing. Hey girl…

That’s it for now. If anyone needs me, I’ll be doing crunches with Schefty.