Streaming Defense Week 13

Streaming Defense Week 13: A few fantasy D/ST options to consider this week and next, including a Packers defense that is up against the Giants, which is the only thing you really need to know.

How to Survive Thanksgiving

This is my yearly advice to making it through this troubling holiday. And if you do not celebrate Thanksgiving, these tips can be used to survive family gatherings.

Greeting the Family

If it is your family, it is much less complicated. Just walk into the house, rummage through the fridge for a second, and then head to the bathroom. Most of the people there will just assume you have already been there for a while, neglecting the need to say hello to you. It also helps if you show up in sweatpants because then the guests will be talking about you, not with you.

If it is your spouse’s family, be prepared to stay by their side as they make the rounds. You’ll need to fake some smiles, act like you remember their names, and generally look like a nice person. Sooner or later you’ll spot that one cousin or sibling of your spouse who you play in fantasy football, giving you the opportunity to discuss why your team sucks this year.

Conversing

This can be very tricky, especially with so many polarizing topics in our world. So to approach any conversation, first determine if you want to talk to that person. If you do, make sure you talk to them about things that are fun to talk about, can be turned into a small argument, but do not result in a rise of emotions. For example, whether or not tigers should be allowed as pets. Or the proper way to say “caramel.” Another one of my favorite conversation starters is asking them where they got their zipper. (Most peoples’ are from Japan.)

If you do not want to talk to them, just ask them before they start talking about whether or not they are vaccinated. Whatever they say, just say, “Wow, that makes me sick just thinking about your decision,” and walk away. The beauty of this response is it works for pro-vaccinators and anti-vaccinators. Either way, sickness could happen. After that, just make sure you avoid that person because they might want to start a full out debate with you after a few mixed drinks, which is not going to help anyone.

Eating

Shut up and chew your meal. If someone asks you a question, put another spoonful of potatoes in your mouth. Repeat this until they lose interest. If they are persistent, give them a half answer with food in your mouth. A follow-up question is doubtful.

Also, if you did not do the cooking, do not make any negative comments about the food. If you do, I hope someone sneezes in your pudding. For the positive comments, make them genuine. Do not praise everything, make a very specific comment on one food in particular. It will be appreciated, and even if you spent the first half of the gathering avoiding people and bringing up vaccines, you’ll be forgiven (at least by the chef of the meal).

Making An Exit

There are two fool-proof exits that I know of, that can be used in any situation. For the first one, whenever you want to leave, just start pulling out your phone or looking at you watch every couple of minutes, making it very obvious. At some point, someone will ask you about it. Say that you have some type of practice or meeting you need to get to and you’re already going to be late. They will most likely feel sympathetic for you for having to work or practice during the holidays, giving you a guilt-free excuse to leave promptly. Make sure that you discuss this plan with your spouse beforehand, otherwise, they’ll most likely call your bluff, making you look like an idiot.

The second exit is one I used a lot in high school and college. It is called the Irish exit. Basically, you just leave without telling anyone. It is a favorite of mine, especially in the early morning. No fuss, no goodbyes, no empty promises, just you (and maybe your spouse) driving home to watch Netflix (or Disney +).

Defense to Stream in Week 13

Green Bay Packers

This team is a quality option only based on their opponent, the New York Giants. This week is not a great week to be streaming, as most of the top options for streaming have terrible matchups. If you are in need of a safe play that could potentially pay off, it is the Packers. Also, since they have been doing terrible defensively this season, they should be available in the majority of leagues. Plus, they are a great streaming option next week too.

Verdict: The Giants are almost guaranteed to not make the playoffs, so do not expect them to put up much of a fight against the number one NFC North team. With the Packers coming off a humiliating defeat, expect a bounce-back performance where they try to embarrass the Giants, just to let other teams know that they have the capability of being a Super Bowl contender. And given that the Giants have been the second most generous team to fantasy defenses this season, expect good things.

Prediction: PA: 14-21, Total Yards: 300-350, Sacks: 4, Fumbles: 1, Interceptions: 2, TD: 1, Fantasy Points: 10-14

Week 14 Streaming Options: Packers vs Washington, Houston vs Denver